lemonade

We all enjoy a nice glass of lemonade from time to time. It's delicious. And some might argue refreshing. I'm willing to concede the former, and the latter as well, but I take issue with one egregious claim that is bantered about recklessly, and without attention to the associated hazards, which are significant: that lemonade quenches a parched palate. Exhibit A is the experience of a lemon:


This expression belies genuine distress. We have all shared in it at least once. Yet questions are raised. Do we know it exactly as she does? Do we taste what she tastes? Is she thinking about work? Why is she naked? When does she sleep? Mercifully, there is one issue made thoroughly clear: this is an exceptionally thirsty woman dissatisfied with her chosen beverage.


Now let's consider sugar, which is frequently added to lemonade. Recent research conducted by the irreproachable Aicha indicates that sugar actually dehydrates, rather than quenches the body. What's more, it may result in swollen lips and nosebleeds, particularly in the summer, which by sinister coincidence is when you're most likely to enjoy a nice glass of lemonade:

http://www.blurtit.com/q491038.html

It's sweet, but when you really think about it, you are bleeding from your nose, potentially, much of the time.

So let's add up the data. Lemonade, made exclusively from the experience of a lemon, with disfiguring sugar added to it, is supposed to quench the thirst of undressed people. This is preposterous. I do NOT believe it to be DaTruffe, and I refuse to entertain evidence to the contrary.

cuttlefish

Have you noticed the cuttlefish craze that is occurring around you? People are TALKING, and I'm not so sure they're talking daTRUFFE. Apparently NOVA has a special on them. I would like to watch it but NOVA's a little too British for me. So instead, I'm gonna start with Myth #1, and dispel it, to be followed by other myths dispelled, on the basis of reasoning that is wholly American.

Myth #1: Cuttlefish are fish. This is untrue. Cuttlefish are not fish, they are mollusks. And they eat smaller mollusks. Their deceptively appealing moniker is derived from the old Nordic word "koddi," meaning testicle. So they are cannibalistic testicle-shaped uncuddly non-fish creatures.

Myth #2: Cuttlefish are amazing. Not. They are just like a lot of other animals and also certain degenerate people. For example, cuttlefish can change colors, allegedly. But even if that's true, it also applies to scores of organisms. There are five alone in the Arctic, and one of them is a bird called a Ptarmigan. But cuttlefish can change the texture of their skin, which is unusual, and they get props there. People make a big deal about other cuttlefish features, such as the fact that they shoot ink, and that their mouths resemble beaks, and their blue-greenish blood. But none of these is especially impressive to Americans.

Myth #3: Cuttlefish have nice eyes. This is so not daTRUFFE, as seen below.








I don't know about you, but I would be unhappy if this is what my eyes looked like. For one thing, they're shaped like oyster shells. Or maybe clams.

agathe

agathe

Hi, this is my first blogpost. It's a blog in progress. My aim is to demonstrate that da truffe:

a. will set you free
b. tastes like maple syrup, some of the time
c. is not what Agathe told me when she said she was going to take over my lease in in June rather than in July, three years ago


In short, this: